Worst day of my life

November 8 at approximately 7 pm my life changed forever. I heard my husband yell "Amiee come here!"I ran to the bedroom to find my daughter solid blue and my husband trying to do the Heimlich on her. I quickly took her and realized her lungs were full of water and she was stiff as a board. I turned around to lay her on the floor and felt the life of my disappear. During this my husband is yelling about how to call 911. I yelled at him "Honey she is not breathing, pick up the phone and dial 9-1-1! ". I immediately started chest compressions while praying to God to not take her from me. Finally after about 45 sec she started to cough and throw up water. At this point my son is confused and asking a million questions. I just gave her another breathe and did more compressions as i saw her slowly turn to a pale white. She throw up more water and pooped. She opened her eyes just a crack and I sat there on my knees starring at my sweet baby girl. That is when I started talking to the 911 operator and my neighbor Pam showed up. She sat next to me and helped with the Hayden and Brennen. It seemed like it took forever for the ambulance to arrive, but about 4 min after itstarted they walked into my doors. She had had been breathing on her own for about 2 min and was extremely 'out of it' I was just so gratful to see her breathing. And praying she had no perminate damage. At the hospital she continued to breath on her own and as doing great. They did a chest x-ray that revealed fluid in her lungs. Then she throw up again. They wanted to send us to Texas Children's downtown because they usually get worse before they get better and downtown has more equipment. I had not cried yet and I felt like the worst mother in  the world. I could not even look at her face because every time I did I saw her blue swollen face. I did hold her in between her aunt Sara, my momma, her daddy and her grampa. I just could not look at her face. I just played with her hand. Finally we were transferred to downtown. On the way there I was so afraid she would get worse in route. She did have major oxygen decrease and they had to give her oxygen but she over came that when she was woken up. She even spiked a fever. Which she had been doing every night for about 4 days. In the ICU room she did great. She went for another X-ray and kept saying "bye bye". This x-ray revealed NO water in her lungs. Thank GOD! The doctor that came in and talked to us. Told us they suspect a seizure based off of her recent history with fevers and the fact that she was so stiff when she was taken from the bath tub. They said that also explains the massive amounts of water for just a few secs under water. She was doing so well that around 330 am she was moved to the observation unit instead of ICU. She was sleeping so well. Mommy was not. Every time I closed my eyes I saw her face and started to relive the past evening in my head. Finally I feel asleep around 430. Which is when my sister called me with my son having a night terror. Broke my heart, but he was in great hands. Aunt Sara is awesome. The next day she did great. No fluid in her lungs, no fever, no brain damage, no breathing difficulties. She beat the statistics and only got better. She was her typical silly Hadley self. Showed no signs of how horrible her night was. I still felt like a horrible mother because I had not cried. But I did cry the second I walked into my bedroom. I needed to take a shower and cried the whole time being in the place where it all happened. I could not fall asleep in my bed. Finally I did, but from pure exhaustion. The next day I could not bring myself to walk in there unless I was busy. My heart races when I go in there. I hate it. I did not sleep in there the second night. I just could not do it. We shall see about tonight :/ My dad told me to not view this event as a bad event. It was a BLESSING. God /gave me the strength and held my hands as I did CPR on my baby girl. And he is right. I felt God with each and every compression. I have decided that I will become a CPR instructor and teach EVERYONE CPR. Also I am going to bring awareness to the fact that CPR saves. Iwant to make a law that says ALL PARENTS MUST BE CPR CERTIFIED IN ORDER TO TAKE A BABY HOME FROM THE HOSPITAL.Every second counts. With that I am going ot go hold my baby girl and she nurses! <3

ZOO BOO!!!

We took Hadley to the Houston Zoo for the first time! It just happened to be Zoo Boo! They both loved it!  And my mom aka Gigi went with us. Hayden was really into the cattle type animals. You know the ones most people just walk by? One licked him and we had to make him leave kicking and screaming because he thought it was so cool. :)
He made sure Hadley saw everything! They both got super excited to see the chimpanzees. The chimpanzee even posed for pictures with the kids. It was precious. I remember a few years ago the orangatang (sp) scared the crap out of Hayden when it ran at the window. I laughed so hard I almost peed myself then.
The African Forest was open and that was very neat. We had not been since it opened. It was fun for Hayden to find all the characters to The Lion King. He loved that. He was ecstatic to find the monkey with the red but. I forget his name. lol.
Hadley enjoyed the fish. She loves to stare at them. We tried to get Hayden to touch a snake but he was terrified . Hadley wanted to touch it but some people cut us off and she got distracted. We did learn that the albino alligator was born the same year as me. So he is 24 years old.
Since it was Zoo Boo the played awkward music for kids (like lady Gaga and Brittnay Spears) and Hayden got to go trick or treating and got a tattoo. They even had a pumpkin patch and Hayden got Hadley and himself a pumpkin, The boy is always thinking about his sister. <3 I just love that.  Our day ended with two very sleepy kids and a tired momma, daddy and Gigi. But it sure was a blast! As we left Hayden chased a giraffe lady on stilts just to give her a high five! haha

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2 toddlers got the best of me

So today I had my nephew, Noah, and Hayden and Hadley. Hadley and I are having sinus issues so we tried to chill on the couch all day. The boys proceeded to eat yogurt and cheese from the fridge. I noticed that one of them brought me the bologna too. Not wanting to complain I just put it up. Hadley kept crawling into Hayden's room and they kept locking her in there and would not let her out. One day this girl is going to kick their butts. Well anyways it got quite in Hayden's room so  I went to check on them. Well Hayden's room was destroyed and there was turkey bacon on the floor. I asked why it was on the floor and Noah picked it up and ran away! I got them to help me clean up. Then I asked Noah what he did with the turkey bacon went. He took me to the freezer, and nope nada. Took me to the bathroom, nope nada. Well I just happen to look under the bed and BAM there is bacon. Whatever I blow it all off and go lay back down with Hadley. I soon have to use the bathroom. I go do that. While in there I hear Hadley laughing and the boys talking. That's cool. NOT! I walk into the kitchen to see Hadley's head as orange as a pumpkin and paint all over the floor, oven and fridge. I immediately am ticked. and I hand them wipes and make them clean it up. I call my momma and I am telling her and I am soooooo freaking mad. I put them in the bath tub. I hang up with my mom. I look at them, Noah and Hayden are washing each others hair out and Hadley is laughing and has a huge grin on her face. I bust out laughing. Best laugh I have had in a while. It was hard to stay mad. I laid them down for a nap and they soon feel asleep. Crazy day with thees boys and Hadley. I love it! <3

Potty Training :/

Hayden has been in underwear since October 2010. He was 100 percent potty trained in January 2011. Maybe 1 to 2 accidents a week :) Since we had Hadley he has regressed and has his good days and his bad days. I feel so bad because Brian yells at him and gets so mad at him when he has accidents. He then becomes so upset and will have more accidents and try to hide them. It breaks my heart. I have potty trained so many kids I should write a book. yet I cant seem to help Hayden. Most of his accidents with me are poopy ones. His poop is still really loose so I am taking the rest of milk cheese and yogurt out of his diet to see if it helps. Maybe Brian will soon realize Hayden is only 3 yrs old. He is dry most morning now though :)

Brothers and Sisters

Why Does Hayden have to annoy the crap out of Hadley? He likes to give her toys then take them away. He  move toys away from her and laughs when she cries
 Yet he is protective of her and will give her anything she wants. He thinks all babies need at least one toy. He loves to cuddle with her and sing her songs and dance with her.
I was told that the bond between big brother and a little sister is just as strong if not stronger than a twin bond. I believe it and I see it everyday. Since Hadley's birth Hayden has known exactly who she was and wanted to care for her. He made sure the second she cried I gave her a paci. Now that she is off teh paci he say "momma sissy wants boobie. Now give sissy boobie." He is such a turkey.
Hadley's car-seat has become the perfect spot to hold Hayden and Hadley's toys when we leave. Poor girl will have like 10 cars in her car-seat with her along with her baby doll and a book or two.
When she first started crawling he build a barrier everywhere so she could go far and he could watch her.The other day she tried to crawl into the kitchen but he turned her around and said "eh eh Hadley." like you would a dog. poor baby girl. But I guess at least he is watching out for her. He really is an awesome BIG brother. I just hope he realizes that she will seek revenge one day :)

Reading to Hadley before bed <3

Hayden where is hadley? Under the bed momma!

sissy needs a barrier :)

BABY GIRL IS CRAWLING 8-6-11

Summers end and time for school!

So, Hadley is officially crawling as of 5 months and 2 weeks! Crazy girl is into everything! We thought she would walk before she sat up, but she sat up a few days after she crawled. She even has pulling up down. We are so proud of her. but I wish she would chill it a little. She may be my last baby and she is in such a hurry to grow up! I guess she has to keep up with that crazy big brother!
Speaking of brother he is a chatter box these days. I can actually hold a conversation with him and I find that fun and interesting. He has gotten so tall and is into everything! The fridge, the pantry, the cabinets. We put a lock on the fridge and pantry. The smart cookie figured them out!
We started 'school' this week. They both love it so much. My nephew, Noah, has joined us and he loves it too. I am so proud of all of them! They get so excited when I say "time for school". Melts my heart and makes me miss Primrose. But that;s ok! I spend the day with some pretty awesome kiddos!
We had the babies dedicated in August and they both love church. I am so excited to get back into the seeing of this and be apart of a church again. Hayden Loves going to his 3 yr old classroom and Hadley loves singing and dancing. Although it may be time for her to start attending the nursery. She got us kicked out of service this past Sunday. Hehe. My silly girl was talking during service. God is good and I am blessed :)

1 week before she crawled :)

This is the give me pizza now glare 

School lunch 

After Dedication!

bath time!

June 2011

Hayden is almost 3! I cannot believe it. He is getting so big and so smart. In the past few weeks he has started making full sentences and has a amazing memory. I love hearing him talk. Although telling him to 'look' and 'see' has back fired. He is always telling me "look momma. momma see?" He is a complete mess. He even reminds us of things and will correct us.

Yesterday I was talking with Hadley. She is saying "mamamamamama" now and I was trying to get her to say it. Well Hayden walked in and said "no Hadley say Haaayyy-dddeeennn" haha. So now he keeps telling her to say his name.

Hadley has gotten very interested in him. She is not crawling yet but she rolls and scoots herself to where he is. Hayden even takes her toys away and girls her his trains and cars and books. So now she tends to prefer his toys. She loves it when he talks to her and tickles her belly and blows on it. She will full out belly laugh for him. I love teh bond that they have. Its almost like a twin bond. I hope it stays that way.
We finally haev a night time routine going on around the house. We are eatting all meals at the table with little fight. Well we start with dinner at 6/6:30 then bath then jammies and brush teeth then watch tv for 30 min then bed time is between 8/830. Hadley even follows it. Although she wakes up 2 hours later to nurse. Hayden is sleeping in his room now! Can not wait till his twin bed is in there then maybe he will sleep in his bed and not on the floor. He hates his toddler bed. Although out morning routine is not set. waking up every few hours to nurse gets me still. we usually wake by nine and most days we go swiming!
I love my kids and my family. It may not be perfect but it is amazing. I hope I get to be a stay at home mommy till Hadley goes to school. but by then I want another baby. So we shall see...

April 2011

Well, Hadley is 2 months old now! Time flies by way too fast. I already miss the 'newborn' she was a few weeks ago, but I love watching her grow.
Hadley is holding her head up and smiling and even cooing. she laughed at Hayden the otehr day. He got excited and said " I funny for Hadey" (yes no L when he says her name. )
Hayden is such a awesome Big Brother. He loves to holde her, rock her and sing to her. When she cries he frantically runs around looking for her paci. when we get ready to leave he will bring me her carseat and her tiny shoes.
I have been so proud of Hayden. when Hadley was first born he stopped using the potty and now he is back on track. he even counts to 8 now! Yesterday he rode his bike. It has tiny training wheels but he is riding it and not even 3 yet! His vocabulary has blossomed again. He had started to baby talk alot. :) I love hearing him talk. Epsecially when he says "Mommy lub jew!"
Wednesdays I pick up Sara and Noah and we play at the park or go eat or come to the house. This kids love it. Although Hayden tends to be a little rough for Noah. By rough I do mean kicking, pinching, tackling, bitting, pushing, taking toys and so on. I really wish he would chill out with all that. Makes me sad to have to get onto him about it. I started giving him some coke in the mornings and that seems to calm him down a bit. Have not had any in a week though and he has been a terror.
Hayden has started staying the night places. He loves it and will take his overnight bag with us just to go to the store in hopes he may stay somewhere. Cracks me up. Brian doesnt like it cause he misses him. I missed him terribly at forst. But after I picked him up the first time and saw how much fun he was having I knew he was ok and he deserved to have fun away from mommy and daddy. He has stayed  at his Uncle Tims house three times and his Gigis once and his Aunt Sara's two times.
A schedule has somewhat formed around the house. Hayden and I wake up around nine and he eats while i pick up the house. Then we do art. Usually paint, color or playdough. Hadley wakes up around then so we watch Disney jr for a bite. then we go outside and play for awhile. Sometimes i get a nap other times its a movie. then outside again and I start dinner. Once a week I clean in there some how. I guess it helps that I follow hayden around cleaning up and pick up everyday. I even started doing Jillians 30 day shred. Hayden "orks outs" with me.
I just have to say I LOVE BEING A STAY AT HOME MOMMY. Its the best job ever. Really it is.

Diaper cream in his hair

Laughing at hers mom 

My favorite boy and I

MY Loves. My life!!!

He freaking loves her

Proudest brother ever!

My favorite Pic!

St lukes Hospital stay with Hadley 2/24/11

Hadley was admitted to the hospital last night for low grade fever, throwing up, diahrea and a rash. They suspect its same cold Hayden had but due to her age they wasnted to do a complete work up and monitor her for dehydration and other symptoms. In the ER they did a spinal tap (which took three tries and got very little fluid), blew two veins in her arms to get blood for a culture, poked her foot and put an IV in her head. They also did a flu and RSV swab in the nose. She has gets amoxicillion every 6 hours and another antibiotic every 24 hrs. She has been on constant IV fluids, doc said he wants to stop it so maybe she will eat more via nursing vs bottle. She is still pooping a lot but no more fever or throw up. Rash has supsided some too. Doc believes its just a intestinal virus and we will go hom tomorrrow night or Sunday morning at latest so she can finish her 48 hrs of antibiotics just in case bacteria infection. We appriciate your prayers and concerns. Please keep praying.
Update: The illness has been labeled a gastrointestinal virus. She will finish her 48 hr antibiotics just in case but we get to go home tomorrow. She is nursing GREAT and sleeping like a angel. She does have a diaper rash with blisters but we are working on healing that. poor baby and all those poops.
My husband has been great with all this. My sister has been my lifesaver. She has been helping me at home all week and kept hayden while we are in the hospital. Just amazing.Hayden is a fabulous big brother. HE loves his baby sister and kisses her and tries to calm her by holding her hand and saying "its k Hadley". WE are so proud of how well he has taken all of this. Hadley is a strong girl and we are proud of her.

hadley 2/16/2011

So at 1030 pm on February 15 my water broke. The labor and delivery unit was full and since a was a c-section I stayed in the triage unit. At least it was a private room with a TV cause I wasn't sleeping on the stretcher bed. Hayden and I had been awake since 10:00 am and Brian since 5. Hayden was full of energy and excited to see his sister!
They did the test for amniotic fluid and it was negative. She sis it again about 5 min minuets later she did it again and it was positive. So time to get things started!
Around 1 am February 16 GG and Aunt Sara showed up to the hospital. Brian tried to sleep with Hayden in GG truck but no luck. I tried to sleep in my room but between the uncomfortable bed and visitors that didn't happen. Doctor REeves (my doc) was on call and he decided to do the C-section at 530 am! seemed forever away at 1 am.Soon Aunt Jessi, uncle Tim, Aunt Holly, Brooke and Gram-pa Russel and PawPaw were there.
Finally at 5 am they started prep for surgery. I had not had anything to drink and I was started to get nervous. Brian even tried to sneak me a drink via his hands (ew) and a paper towel (still ew). they got the IV in and gave Brian his scrubs. this all seemed so surreal and going by way to fast.
And now we were off the the surgery room. Had to be poked 2 times for the epidural to work. and no it didnt hurt. My left leg was numb by the time he said my legs would start going numb. Now its time to lay down and for Brian to join us. Let's begin!
First we hear "we have a ear.... and an umbilical around the neck" I then hold my breath and then at 5:54 I hear that AMAZING little lamb cry. Therefore I now cried. soon the nurse walked past me and showed me my beautiful little girl. she looked just like her brother.
I remember just crying as I heard her scream. that cry coming from her meant so much. then I got to see my little glowworm swaddled up and no longer crying. she was a healthy 6 lbs 6 oz and 18 inch long. 10 fingers and 10 toes. And NO bubbles coming from her mouth. her lungs were perfect, no repeat of what happened with Hayden. I got to hold her and nurse heronly a few short minuets later
We were only in the hospital for 2 more days and got to come home. It was great to be home with my beautiful babies and husband.
Things are going great so far. we are experincing a little bump with Hadley's heath and i will post the story later.

brother holding sissy and fixing her paci

my beauty

I LOVE feet!

5 min old!

daddy staring

mommy and baby! <3

first time to see his sissy!

my first time to see her!