When anxiety gets the best of you

Living with a hidden illness is frustrsting and annoying. I live with anxiety and depression. It's hard, because just like visible illnesses every invisible one is different. You cant put yourself in their shoes, even if you also suffer some the same thing.
Today I had my first outburst since being medicated. Before I talk about what happened let me give you some back story. We are currently living at my moms
We sold our house and are waiting for the new one to be built. Living here also is my sister amd her kids. So that's 5 adults, 4 kids, 3 dogs and 4 cats.
Also, as most of you know Hayden had ADHD tendencies, along with his hearing complications, anxiety and his dysgraphia. Today pediatrician gave us a refereal for a specialist to get him more help with learning to manage it all.
As you can imagine that's hard. Hard to deal with, hard to imagine your son feeling even some of how you feel.
Well back to my episode, I walked into my moms and the first thing I hear is within the 5 min it took me to get inside my son had gotten in trouble for yelling after being told to be quite. I lost it. I raised my voice about how he has hearing issues and they know that. and then somwone called him a brat, which so happens to be a trigger word with my when used with Hayden (i know it is harmless, but my anxiety doesnt let me see it that way. i know getting upset about it is silly but that doesnt change my emotions. )
I started to get mad. I probably said alot i dont even remember. But he is my boy and he said he didnt hear "stop being loud and be quit" he heard " stop being quit and be loud". As one adult left she said "amiee needs to face the facts about hayden"
While true, that ia kinda what started it. As I know talking to my son may reveal more about what happened.
It is hard to tell if he is being dramatic and milking or legit. But after choice words with the adults present I sat and talked to Hayden. I explained how "be loud" wasnt logical. and he needs to think before he acts and how i know he knows better.
Then I tried to apologize. That went down hill quickly as i tried to explain why I reacted poorly. Not that it justifies it at all. but let's say apology was not recieved and I was that my son is the way he is because of me. Well as much as that sentence hurt I know its true,
anxiety is genetic.
I have learned a few things about today. apparently I cant leave my kids alone with some people I thought I could, because I dont trust them with diciplining my children. Also it seems somw think i am too open ms honest with my kids. Both things I need to think about.
I know my actions may not make sense but they did/do to me. Even just looking back I could agree I over reacted. My feelings are still there and real.