Worst day of my life

November 8 at approximately 7 pm my life changed forever. I heard my husband yell "Amiee come here!"I ran to the bedroom to find my daughter solid blue and my husband trying to do the Heimlich on her. I quickly took her and realized her lungs were full of water and she was stiff as a board. I turned around to lay her on the floor and felt the life of my disappear. During this my husband is yelling about how to call 911. I yelled at him "Honey she is not breathing, pick up the phone and dial 9-1-1! ". I immediately started chest compressions while praying to God to not take her from me. Finally after about 45 sec she started to cough and throw up water. At this point my son is confused and asking a million questions. I just gave her another breathe and did more compressions as i saw her slowly turn to a pale white. She throw up more water and pooped. She opened her eyes just a crack and I sat there on my knees starring at my sweet baby girl. That is when I started talking to the 911 operator and my neighbor Pam showed up. She sat next to me and helped with the Hayden and Brennen. It seemed like it took forever for the ambulance to arrive, but about 4 min after itstarted they walked into my doors. She had had been breathing on her own for about 2 min and was extremely 'out of it' I was just so gratful to see her breathing. And praying she had no perminate damage. At the hospital she continued to breath on her own and as doing great. They did a chest x-ray that revealed fluid in her lungs. Then she throw up again. They wanted to send us to Texas Children's downtown because they usually get worse before they get better and downtown has more equipment. I had not cried yet and I felt like the worst mother in  the world. I could not even look at her face because every time I did I saw her blue swollen face. I did hold her in between her aunt Sara, my momma, her daddy and her grampa. I just could not look at her face. I just played with her hand. Finally we were transferred to downtown. On the way there I was so afraid she would get worse in route. She did have major oxygen decrease and they had to give her oxygen but she over came that when she was woken up. She even spiked a fever. Which she had been doing every night for about 4 days. In the ICU room she did great. She went for another X-ray and kept saying "bye bye". This x-ray revealed NO water in her lungs. Thank GOD! The doctor that came in and talked to us. Told us they suspect a seizure based off of her recent history with fevers and the fact that she was so stiff when she was taken from the bath tub. They said that also explains the massive amounts of water for just a few secs under water. She was doing so well that around 330 am she was moved to the observation unit instead of ICU. She was sleeping so well. Mommy was not. Every time I closed my eyes I saw her face and started to relive the past evening in my head. Finally I feel asleep around 430. Which is when my sister called me with my son having a night terror. Broke my heart, but he was in great hands. Aunt Sara is awesome. The next day she did great. No fluid in her lungs, no fever, no brain damage, no breathing difficulties. She beat the statistics and only got better. She was her typical silly Hadley self. Showed no signs of how horrible her night was. I still felt like a horrible mother because I had not cried. But I did cry the second I walked into my bedroom. I needed to take a shower and cried the whole time being in the place where it all happened. I could not fall asleep in my bed. Finally I did, but from pure exhaustion. The next day I could not bring myself to walk in there unless I was busy. My heart races when I go in there. I hate it. I did not sleep in there the second night. I just could not do it. We shall see about tonight :/ My dad told me to not view this event as a bad event. It was a BLESSING. God /gave me the strength and held my hands as I did CPR on my baby girl. And he is right. I felt God with each and every compression. I have decided that I will become a CPR instructor and teach EVERYONE CPR. Also I am going to bring awareness to the fact that CPR saves. Iwant to make a law that says ALL PARENTS MUST BE CPR CERTIFIED IN ORDER TO TAKE A BABY HOME FROM THE HOSPITAL.Every second counts. With that I am going ot go hold my baby girl and she nurses! <3